No Joke

This is no joking matter.


If you are one of the few people that have read my blog, you know that about 3 years ago, my partner went through something very bad and is in a very dark place. If you are new to this blog or need a refresher, my partner was training to be in local law enforcement about 3 years ago when he began having thoughts of suicide. Not a normally dark person, he was concerned and reached out to his trainers for help. They all agreed that it was for the best that he take a step back from training and get the help he needs before trying again to move forward. They also helped him find a therapist and were able to get him in under the law enforcement rates.


When he began seeing someone he got diagnosed with anxiety and depression which at times takes over him and he is unable to function in his daily life.


Recently we passed the anniversary of the day he was at his darkest. This was the day he truly began to consider suicide and it hit him hard. He was just off for days. If you knew us before all of this you would know we are both very positive people but there is something about this time of year that hits him like a mack truck and takes him to his lowest points.


We are now 3 years later and he is still really struggling with daily life. He has a very simple job (even easier now that he hasn't had to go to work for over a year). He doesn't have any motivation or self-worth right now and it is hard to see. He wants to do something, anything but he can't get up and do it. He has literally no motivation or drives to get going with his life and find a new path.


It is hardest for him but as the person that is living with him day in and day out it is also hard on me. I wish he could find a new gear because he has been in neural for the last three years and it is getting old fast now.


However, I can't say anything to him because he will either shut down or it will go in one ear and out the other.


If you or someone you know is having the same issues as me, please let me know how you are able to help. I would love to get ideas on what will make him move forward with his life. I am getting ready to do a chore chart but I am not sure how I can enforce the rules when I am not home, due to work.


If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).



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